A word can bring with it a flood of memories, and a memory can be so powerful we lack the words to adequately
describe the sum total of the experience. I have attempted to convey events encountered while serving at a Purpose-Driven®
church, with an earnest desire to shed light on issues many Christians ignore.
There has been a deep decline in Christian credibility. Many believers have replaced a desire to live authentically
with the phony business-like relationships found in exclusiveness and excess. We’ve isolated ourselves and established
cozy cliques for the purpose of feeling comfortable while believing we are “spiritually mature.” In the process
of seeking to take care of ourselves we’ve turned away from relationships and vainly chased the empty trappings of success.
The drive for numbers is the rule while the nurturing and life-giving power of authentic Christian community has become the
exception.
Like insects lured in by the brightness of bug-killing bulbs, we are inevitably drawn to serve for charismatic
authority figures. Leaders pay close attention to us and have taken notice of our tendency to be attracted by achievement
and picture perfect packaging. In the process of seeking celebrity, pompous pastors fool themselves into believing their grand
vision of success has been inspired by God. They push their personal agenda without regard for concerns voiced by church membership.
While building considerable communities, these ministers masterfully manipulate members to comply with commands
without regard for the spiritual health or the well-being of their faithful followers. Longing to live in the limelight has
taken precedence over humility and their desire to serve the Lord. Unscrupulous pastors undertake the un-churched (people
who are more easily exploited). They promote an unbalanced life underscored by unremitting ambition.
Are we okay with allowing this unhealthy trend to go unrecognized, unchecked or unquestioned?
How do we start repudiating a self destructive culture of narcissism and aristocratic arrogance?
Can anyone hope to make a difference?
It was during the 1978 investigation into the Jim Jones cult -- where 909 devoted followers eventually
died after purposefully ingesting Kool-Aidâ mixed with the deadly poison cyanide -- when Congresswoman
Jackie Speler made the comment, “Was anyone going to be brave enough to come forward?” Asked over thirty years
ago, this question still resonates and prompts each of us to consider our part in the silent erosion of Christian community.
I struggled with the idea of coming forward and bringing our situation out into the open. The usual response
is to pretend these things don’t happen, and when they do, we’re not supposed to talk about them. There’s
an unwritten commandment many in church see as most important, thou shalt remain silent. My decision to write this
book required revisiting many painful memories and placing myself in a position where some would certainly make efforts to
challenge my words, seek to discount my experiences, and discredit my motivations. These barriers, though intimidating, were
not sufficient to squash the need for a healthy dose of honesty. My trust is in God. And God is not about subterfuge, He’s
about truth. To worry about troubling circumstances resulting from speaking truthfully would be unhelpful.
To step out and speak out was an act of faith. My decision not to keep secrets, hide problems or keep issues
behind closed doors was inspired by a desire to begin a healing process for myself and The Church. I no longer wanted to hide
things due to fear -- fear that my exposing the not so nice things happening in my church might damage God’s ability
to do His work. The best way I knew to help was no longer to be a willing participant in covering up the dysfunction.
The truth is, on many days, writing made me physically ill and I wanted absolutely nothing to do with this
book. It was a constant struggle to wade through the past and re-experience the pain, over and over again. Although it would
have been easier, my conscience did not allow me to keep my head in the sand and sheepishly choose to ignore pressing pastoral
problems. I didn’t want to remain part of the driving dysfunction which has empowered those with personal ambition and
political savvy. Not wanting to take the easy way out or add to the growing problem of cowardice, I decided to retake my journey
and put pen to paper.
What began as brief notes on napkins, scrap pieces of paper -- and even toilet paper -- turned into a healthy
and healing journey of journaling.
Writing a book is an interesting process. During the vetting and editing process it became apparent that
the only way to proceed was to censor or altogether remove portions of the book. In an attempt to quell the fears of all concerned,
I have reluctantly omitted some details. What you are reading is by no means the “author’s cut,” but, even
with self-imposed censorship in place, this book remains faithful to its intent and fulfills its purpose.
In this book I write about events which took place during my ten years of serving at a church known as The
Fellowship. While writing, I recognized unhealthy choice patterns and exploitation by both leaders and membership.
In order to help other churches, it’s important to point out ministerial manipulation and member missteps
as they occurred in our church. My hope is that other churches will learn from our mistakes.
Worship of Mass Dysfunction isn’t a happy, feel good, puppy dogs and sunshine kind of book highlighting
the genuine care found in our churches. These pages are not filled with nice topical discussions on how churches are doing
a great job. I provide a sobering look into a world where Christians aren't always the way we like to portray ourselves. It's
honest.
Some of what I relate isn’t pretty, but, in the words of one of my professors, “life gets messy.”
I‘ve captured the pain and frustration of working with church leadership unwilling to acknowledge their imperfections
or the inherent problems of unquestionably following the questionable philosophy found in Rick Warren‘s model of a Purpose-Drivenâ church.
One may look at this book as an attempt at boasting and rejoicing in my suffering. It may be my story, but
I’m thinking there are others who have dealt with, are currently dealing with, and will deal with similar
circumstances. It is my desire for all who experience hurt in church -- in the past, present and future -- to gain insight,
and realize that you are not alone. And to know God takes care of all of us, even if it’s not done within
the walls of a church building.
To borrow from Congresswoman Speler’s words, I hope to inspire others to be “brave enough to
come forward” and take steps to avoid the painful pitfalls taken by my former church community.
The only way to combat these issues is for us to acknowledge that problems exist, pray, analyze them and then purposefully
drive down an alternate road filled with community, caring, and most of all, love.
